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yesterday it just hit me in the face. people are completely oblivious to change. and i just notice this yesterday after rebecca gives me a whole speech about it. or is it just me changing while everyone's staying the same ?
i've been catching myself listening to soft acoustics, pop what you may call it, norah jones, john lenon, michael buble, john meyer. amazing artists. in my opinion most of these artists songs have a lot more meaning to them, instead of our music today talking about death/killing/suicide/stealing. although sounding hypocritical i enjoy those songs too. don't get me wrong, a lot of songs in our modern day times talk about the important things in life too. in a way it makes me think about how baby's are unbearably innocent and have no idea what the world goes through or how people are dealing, or the many good/bad influences are being brought apon them. is the world as messed up as i think it is ?
i haven't felt so terrible in awhile the way i did yesterday. i didn't mean to hurt you that way, its just not right. i don't feel the way you do, i appologize for making you feel this way.
i've noticed no way i try and let go i always end up missing you one way or another. and our late night conversations bring a smile to my face knowing you feel the same way or alot stronger than i. and it gets too me how you live a bit further than i wished. but your going to start driving soon sometime this year or next year if i'm not mistaken :] and your mom agreeing to let you see me more often. the promises we made, but my ignorant self breaking most of them and leaving you like that. but am i getting a little to over my head hoping for many things happen when i'm pretty positive they won't ? the same thoughts go through my head, should i sit around and wait, or move on and find someone who makes me as happy as you do ? OH MY GOODNESS HOW I WISH THINGS WERE AS EASY AS THEY SOUNDED ! i miss you terribly dear :/ <3
so today, i finally notice, hmn, a lot of people are starting to look the same. it started to aggravate me a bit that i was the first person at school to look the way i look today. yeah, i mean teased hair started in the 80's. remember when skinny jeans, tight shirts, teased hair, and big bows were emo ? and now every person says they take it back. change isn't a bad thing, but it would be nice if people stop trying to look like me. a big red bow, same exact shoes and almost the same clothes and hair teased EXACTLY like mine. really ? ! are you kidding ? ! you could atleast change it up with your own style and not look like a complete replica of me. there's a reason i try to stand out, and look different. agh ! no one has any clue how much it bugs the bajeebers out of me. anyways, getting off that subject, i had a nice day :] i got more hairspray xp and a monster, and now i'm making new bows so no one will copy me >:D i'm still trying to add all my friends back onto my new myspace from my old one, its going pretty good also :] i can't wait till next school year ! :D
today, today, today, is the first day i start this whole blogging thing. i mean, what the heck, why not ? what have i got to loose. plus, its a great way to spill out how i'm feeling. i love mornings where its a dark day, but not too dark, just right. drinking hot tea/coffee, and a nice comfortable chair just to enjoy that time. since summer is coming and winter mornings are slowly disappearing. but i'll have to deal with it for the next 8 months to have my favorite season again. acoustic songs sound amazing. john meyer songs. agh, i love it. old time music also relaxes me, especially having those talks with my grandma while sitting out beside the pool. she amazes me. i've spent the whole day talking to jannellynn,finding old movies that i used to be able to watch for hours, texting danny. i think he's the only person i can stand talking all day with without getting tired/annoyed and a few others. :] he usually makes my day, and helps me think positive about things, which most people don't do, even when i'm feeling down he finds a way where i'm happy even if he goes out of his way, the things he does for me really mean alot :] <3.>
