yesterday it just hit me in the face. people are completely oblivious to change. and i just notice this yesterday after rebecca gives me a whole speech about it. or is it just me changing while everyone's staying the same ?
i've been catching myself listening to soft acoustics, pop what you may call it, norah jones, john lenon, michael buble, john meyer. amazing artists. in my opinion most of these artists songs have a lot more meaning to them, instead of our music today talking about death/killing/suicide/stealing. although sounding hypocritical i enjoy those songs too. don't get me wrong, a lot of songs in our modern day times talk about the important things in life too. in a way it makes me think about how baby's are unbearably innocent and have no idea what the world goes through or how people are dealing, or the many good/bad influences are being brought apon them. is the world as messed up as i think it is ?
i haven't felt so terrible in awhile the way i did yesterday. i didn't mean to hurt you that way, its just not right. i don't feel the way you do, i appologize for making you feel this way.
i've noticed no way i try and let go i always end up missing you one way or another. and our late night conversations bring a smile to my face knowing you feel the same way or alot stronger than i. and it gets too me how you live a bit further than i wished. but your going to start driving soon sometime this year or next year if i'm not mistaken :] and your mom agreeing to let you see me more often. the promises we made, but my ignorant self breaking most of them and leaving you like that. but am i getting a little to over my head hoping for many things happen when i'm pretty positive they won't ? the same thoughts go through my head, should i sit around and wait, or move on and find someone who makes me as happy as you do ? OH MY GOODNESS HOW I WISH THINGS WERE AS EASY AS THEY SOUNDED ! i miss you terribly dear :/ <3
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